Please McFuck Off, David Fairhurst, Part 2

Just checked back on the BBC poll about the 'Change The OED Definition Poll' that poor ol' McDonalds have initiated.

It doen't seem public opinion is with them thus far.

Ha-Bloody-Ha!

Please McFuck Off, David Fairhurst

So, poor old McDonalds want to make the OED change their description of a 'McJob' as "an unstimulating low-paid job with few prospects", eh?
Well, that's a little odd, because flipping burgers is precisely that.
I've done it.
For McDonalds.
It was along time ago, thank god, so the pain has nearly worn off, but it was a terrible job! The regimenting of it's uniform and it's pseudo militaristic star-points badge system. And that's not even getting into the sub-standard garbage they laughingly foist on the public as food. Anyone recall the McSalad that had more calories in it than a burger?

Fairhurst (now there's a name to conjour with) also tries to go for the faux 'camaraderie' angle with his whineing "It is also insulting for everyone else who works in the wider restaurant and tourism sectors."
Of course this is hardly true, as people who don't work for McDonalds don't have a fraction of the negative stigma attached to them.
The BBC News online story about it has a nice little vote-me-up on the same page, and having monitored it for about an hour or so, the volume of votes cast has increased by over 1,000 votes, but the percentage voting against any change to the current OED definition still hasn't dipped below 80%.

Still McDo's have Sir Digby Jones on their team, so they are bound to win. Aren't they?


>attached. Grab from BBCi

Don't believe the Hippies!

Before the avalanche of marketing (and the after effects of the recent court case victory) hits us in earnest, there was a nice piece on The Daily Show about La Brown's magnificent octopus.

Rob Corddry, in his 'The Week In God' spot talks about the Da Vinci Code:

For those who haven't read it, the book is about a professor who discovers that the Catholic Church has covered up Jesus' marriage to Mary Magdelene, and that their decendants walk among us to this day.

C'Mon! Who's gonna believe that? Jesus was born by immaculate conception and later rose from the dead - use your heads, people!

Quite.

Sorry, I've been sleeping through all this last four weeks...

Mainly hoping it was all a bad dream. Sadly, it appears that it wasn't. But never mind - we can all give them a good spanking on Thursday. Make sure you know how to use your vote properly.

Go here to find out: clickety-click.

More soon. Oh yes.

Ooops, Must have forgotten my watch...

This man works for News International. He is known as the 'fake sheik' or Mazher Mahmood.
Their lawyers don't want to have his photo published before 5.00pm today.

Oh dear, I did it again.....

[See the air darken with the writs of lawyers - or not]

Obsolete has some wonderful details on this tale of shady goings-on at Murdoch Towers.

Whoa! Who'd have thought they'd get away with it, eh? It's a Shocker!

Incredible, isn't it? An inquiry (by the Pentagon) has found that The Pentagon wasn't guilty of doing something wrong.
What a turn-up for the books! 

Let's all just take a moment to remember where we live, eh?

Last time I looked, the U.K. was an alledged western liberal democracy (with obvious Blairite tendencies toward ass-licking the States, but all the same...).
But, Shabina Begum is a bit full-on about Muslim dress codes, and wanted to go for the 'Brut 45'* approach to jilbabs and the like.
Sadly, the House of Lords doesn't agree. Oh well.

[*Wrap it on all over]

Holy Shellfish, Batman!

Did you know this?

No more Prawn Cocktails for you god-botherers, then.

Next Generation Operating System?

Sooooo.... Windows Vista has slipped (at least in it's home consumer version) to a release date sometime in January 2007. It seems that there are 'quality issues'. Not another 8 weeks or so is going to make the slightest bit of difference to the final quality of the product - that of a cheap Mac OS X ripoff - but interesting that the jolly chaps in Redmond don't seem to give a shite about the PC manufacturers who will lose out on a huge amount of unit sales this Christmas.
Slipping release dates are not strangers to Bill and the boys from Redmond, as this superb piece from the Register maps out very well. 
Waiting with bated breath? 
What probably wasn't mentioned in the marketing guff was that when they were talking about a next generation operating system, they meant that it might well be be released in time for your grandchildren to use.

Who Let the Dog(s) Out? Or off their leads anyway.

Poor Old Charles Clarke. A definate knickers-in-twist scenario seems to be in the offing. The Security Elephant is huffing and puffing about Jack Dromey's all-too-reasonable reaction to the 'PeerGate' debacle.
Jumbo said to a 'Westminster Lunch' - so, no sober souls there, then - that "you have to wonder how well he (Dromey) was doing his work". Pretty rich, huh?

He probably wants Jack to get some kind of parity with himself, since people are almost continually asking the same question of Herr Clarke...
...and coming up with the answer not unlike that of Alan Sugar's firing line in last week's Apprentice:"You're a bloody lightweight - you should be fired".


Update: Jumbo has been promoted to chief seer to No.10, it seems. He now happily proclaims that Bliar will be with us until "sometime in 2008".
Only one small problem, though, this oh-so-juicy little tidbit didn't come from any briefing, or conversation with Ol' Tone, or any of that - oh, no. "he also said his opinion was not based on any inside knowledge or conversations".

So you just made it up, because you knew the soundbite would carry a spoiler story for the end of day news cycle. What a complete fuckwit.

Progress Bar

I'm so angry with the continued teflon-ness of Tone and the Gang, that I've chosen to keep a whether eye on matters States-side for a bit.
According to Americablog, there's a new buzzword in town.

Shall we see how far it's spread this week, boys and girls?

Well, CNN have got one, sorry - two instances.

Bush himself used the phrase 7 times in his speech yesterday. and managed to slip it in again in his first answer in the Q & A section.

Try Googling it - lazylink.

Every news outlet has picked up on (or been instructed to pick up on) the 'P' word, just so Dubya can make it look as though the U.S. is forging ahead.

Like coffee in Brazil, it seems there's a awful lot of 'progress' in Iraq.

Just replace 'Washington Post' & 'New York Times' with...

'The Guardian' & 'The Daily Telegraph', and any references to Bush to that of Bliar, and this piece still works.
Funny old world, eh?

But a bloody fine piece, if I may say, on behalf on the good chaps at AMERICAblog.

Mr Popular (redux)

via AMERICAblog:

Your friend and ours, George W. isn't doing so well in an AP-Ipsos poll just out.

• 70% of Republicans think civil war will break out in Iraq.
  
• 70% of Americans think US is on wrong track
• 37% approve of his job performance
• 74% of Republicans approve his performance, down from 82% in February
  
• 36% approval rating on domestic affairs, down from 39% last month
• 43% approval on foreign policy and terrorism
  
• 40% approval on Iraq and economy
• 2/3 disapprove of Congress job performance

Oh dear. That first statistic is rather interesting, though. The U.S. obviously doesn't think that if a Civil War breaks out in Iraq (errr, so what would you call what's going on at the moment, a 'Police Action'?) that it would be anything to do with them. Donald 'Bad Boy' Rumsfeld yesterday said: 
"The plan is to prevent a civil war, and to the extent that one were to occur, to have the -- from a security standpoint -- have the Iraqi security forces deal with it, to the extent that they're able to." 
Clear and concise, as ever. But the unavoidable sound of hands being washed seems to pervade the statement.

Jesus Fucking Christ

Read This.

And be afraid. For all of us.

Serves me right for listening to XTC after too much Chilean wine.

My very best regards to WWD, long may he rain. (geddit?)

Lest We Forget (Part x)

Reign of blows
Reign of blows
Reign of blows cascading down upon your shoulders
Far too many men dressed up as soldiers
The lamb is brought to the ground
Under the weight of the Crown
A crown of thorns and dark deeds
The swastika and the hammer and symbol
Are sickles that reap only weeds

Reign of blows
Reign of blows
Reign of blows precedes a storm of revolution
People have no place in their solution
So torture raises its head
Decked out in blue, white, and red
And iron maidens will slam
And by the half light of burning republics
Joe Stalin looks just like Uncle Sam

Reign of blows
Reign of blows
Reign of blows has washed away the corpse of Abel,
Cain is now the king in every Babel
I just don't care who you are
When death draws up in his car
And talks in terrorist tones
Remember violence is only a vote for the
Black Queen to take back the throne

Reign of blows

(XTC - Andy Partridge, 1985)

Baby Love

Ah, South Dakota, land of freedom. Just don't get pregnant through rape, because the God-fearin' folk down that way won't allow you to have an abortion, no-siree-bob.

The only get out (according to proposed legislation) is if your life is in danger. That's apart from the matter of the rape, just in case you were wondering.

The Family Way

"...the La-aand of the Free, and the home of the Brave".

Just picked this up from the admirable AmericaBlog. They, in turn, picked it up from the St Louis Dispatch. Under city ordinance in the town of Black Jack it is forbidden for more than three people to live in the same house who are not related by 'blood, marriage or adoption'.
So, one Oliva Shelltrack has three children by two different men, one of whom is her fiancee, with whom she wishes to move in before they get married. But she can't - because the local authorities forbid it.
To think that the U.S. used to complain about China's maximum 2 children policy.

It may even be against the constitution, according to the Washington Post.

Right, I'm now getting cross.

What do ministers in this government have to do to be forced to leave office?

Perhaps buggering a dead baby in front of the gates of Buckingham Palace?
Passing a law that allows the rendering down for glue of Chelsea pensioners?
Or just taking a blowtorch to the genitals of Huw Edwards? (Although on reflection.....)

When someone is so plainly guilty, and yet our glorious leader seems to find no fault?

Her own backbenchers are calling for her resgination, yet still she protests her innocence. I suppose Ruth Kelly, with all her deviant Catholic Ways has managed to avoid the swing of the axe, so Bliar, with all his usual pomposity (exceeding even that of Jack Straw), has 'declared his confidence'.

A friend of mine, a Labour activist, for whom I have the deepest respect, was telling me last night of the increasingly impossible task of canvassing for the upcoming London local elections. He almost held his head in his hands when I brought up the matter of the 'Italian Job'. He said, in pained tones "It seems that every week, the Parliamentary Party have to do something to fuck us up".
I feel for him, but not for them, as they are a wash of liars, turncoats, frauds and political traitors. When will we have the facility to rid ourselves of these turbulent gits?

The Grauniad should print a front page explaining why they decided to try to cover this fiasco up with weasel words, and well-hidden page 6 stories. Alan Rusbridger should have to turn in his NUJ card, as he is evidently no longer able to report the news objectively.

Rant over, be about your business.

Update: No, you can't go about your business just yet... the story is spreading further than even the dreams of Alistair Campbell could have conjured.

Scarily Contemporaneous, non?

I subscribe to Private Eye, it gives me some of the few laughs I am able to have at the tragic state of news these days. My copy arrived this morning, and I thoroughly enjoyed reading about half of it on the way to work this morning...
...and I saw this: link

Tim, I tip my hat to you sir, and in the bastardised words of Peter, Paul & Mary - "If I had a scanner.... I'd scanner in the morning"

Please, Private Eye, listen to our plea.

Will Matthew D'Ancona soon be eating his badly chosen words?

"There is not a shred of evidence that Tessa (Jowell) has done anything wrong..."
Matthew D'Ancona,
Radio 4 - The World Tonight, March 2, 2006

More from Craig Murray here and here.

He's right - the woman is as guilty as sin.