Step Forward Kevin Hendryx, of Austin, Texas – your 15 minutes start now!

Mr Hendryx is (to quote his Amazon.com ‘Top’ reviewer bio) a professional writer, editor, adventure game designer [oh god, a hobbit.. - ed], and musician. Verily, a true renaissance man. He also cites Military History and European History as further arrows in his already bulging quiver of intellectual armament.

Kevin (bless him) has been regaling us Eurotrash with his views on the ‘Will They/Won’t They’ EU & Turkey fandango that’s kicking off at the moment – bask in the glory of his wisdom on the BBC website here.

But, let’s face it, he’s an American, and therefore automatically disqualified to speak with any credibility about anything beyond his repetitious emails to the Austin Chronicle, noble e-organ of that fine city. When it comes to real Geo-Political History, or so it would seem, he gets a little shaky. Did I mention he lives in Texas?
Here’s a little European history 101 to sharpen him up. In 1683, a mere 63 years after the Brits had been busy ridding themselves of a bunch of religious zealots by dumping them in a boat called the Mayflower and directing them off stage right toward some land owned by much nicer people, the Ottoman empire was getting busy in then Westphalia (now Federal Republic of Germany, Kevin, not the VW Microbus of the same name – are you keeping up?).
Their advance ground to a halt, and the Turks invited to a European Congress (Hey Kevin, see where this is going? Can you, can you?) concerning the ramifications of the once Saracen, now ‘Other’ advance.
After this point, the religious and cultural differences between the Muslim faith based Turk and predominately Christian western Europe brought about a view of the by now degenerating Ottoman empire as the Odd-man-out, and then as we moved into the mid-19th Century (Kevin – are you ready for this?) “The Sick Man of Europe”.
Notice that last word in that quote. The one that begins with an ‘e’.
That’s a clue.
When added to the other details, such as Bernard Lewis’ worthy tome ‘The Muslim Discovery of Europe’ the ‘union of the Lily and the Crescent’ between France and Ottoman Empire in the 16th Century which saw the then French ambassador commanding Ottoman Artillery against Persia (Kevin, you may know it as Eye-Rack and Eye-Ran), not to mention Poland’s alliances since the early 15th Century, in fact Poland considered itself closer to Johnny Turk than to the royal houses of France or England.

Oh, and if we really want to split hairs, we could always roll out the hoary old classic about Istanbul being the ‘Gateway to Asia’, note ‘Gateway to’ not Gateway of’

Conclusion: Kevin, do shut up. Your currency is collapsing, you have a Chimpanzee as president and your mother dresses you funny. We’re really not interested in your footling little gripes about stuff that has nothing to do with you or your nation.
You see, intellectual credibility wins through every time!

By the way, it's not 'kooky' to cite cod latin mottos in a online bookshop bio. Do grow up.

So, Farewell then, David Blunkett

The fact (not in dispute, which is worth noting) that whilst you were the Home Secretary, and felt that was completely compatible with being an adulterer didn't seem to cause you any moral problems at all.

And this from the man who 'For 34 years, (has) built (his) political career and earned the trust of the people (he has) have served through being honest and truthful". Handily, that also seemingly involves sleeping with other mens' wives. Great. No problem there, then.

Sadly, there are newspaper owners out there that (rightly) disagree.
We won't be all that sorry to see you go - as you have obviously been at the same chemicals that Jack Straw was taking when he was in your (ex)role.

The object lesson would seem to be: As soon as you get the full support and confidence of Tony Blair, you might as well start packing your bags.
Oh, and at least we've only got 5-6 months of Charles Clarke to put up with; You don't think he's still going to be Home Sec. after the next election, do you??!?!?

That Ol' Democracy Problem

"The problems stems from the fact that not even Ukrainians can tell the difference between the names Yushchenko and Yanukovich."

Ukraine expert Korbul Feltivich on that country's disputed presidential election.


Makes you think, doesn't it: Bush - Kerry, Kerry - Bush, they sound sound so alike, don't they?

Get The Actual Facts - TCO Windoze v Linux

...And not from a company (in name at least) led by Steve 'monkey Boy' Ballmer.

Now Read On...

"According to the latest study, entitled Linux vs Windows TCO Comparison: The Final Numbers Are In, for a company with 250 users, Linux solutions will cost between 27 percent and 36 percent less than Microsoft's products over a three-year period."

.....in an effort to gain further credibility, Cybersource says it gave Microsoft a 'head start' by ignoring the costs of dealing with viruses and any costs associated with downtime resulting from reboots and crashes."
Read the full story here

What!!?! Who ever said that Windows Servers ever crash? Heresy!
Oh, apart from this report, this report, this report, this report, this report, this.....[continued page 94]

So, that's alright then.
Oh, and f*ck Microsoft, btw

His Crap Materials

Ahh, to be in production hell. Like the 'upcoming' The Golden Compass films (for anyone not lobotomized, i.e. Non-American might better recognise as Phillip Pullman's His Dark Materials trilogy).
First off - choose your director.
OK, let's think now... someone with a sense of the epic nature of cinema, scale, spectacle and the like.
Yeah - I know let's get Chris Weitz, director of American Pie 1 & 2. That'll do the trick.

Well, OK, that's the director, now let's see if we can find a non-interfering Studio that won't mess with the main concepts of the books.

New Line; They'll be the ones! look how well they did Lord of the Rings...

[Ooops:

"Earlier this month Weitz removed references to God from the adaptation after New Line expressed concern."

Check the BBC story here]

So, all the stuff about God isn't really that important after all, then.

That's all well and good, but we'll get a really top Producer on board.
How about Deborah Forte?

Great Call!!! The woman who, lest we forget, brought us Clifford The Big Red Dog, Clifford's Puppy Days and not leaving out the multi-Oscar winning classic Clifford's Really Big Movie.

Ladies & Gentlemen, let's just sit back and watch the magic happen, how could we go wrong?

How indeed...

Could someone get Mr Pullman on the phone? We'd like the Olsens to star...

Well Done, The BBC! Another winner!

Mark Thompson, erstwhile nouveau-DG of the BBC seems determined to make a name for himself in his first year at the corporation. Not a good one, either. One 100% hands-down guaranteed way to really get the good burghers of Wood Lane in a tizz is to cut even more Factual and Learning jobs. Ah, but - the argument goes - Factual & Learning has far too many people in it, and it's a very expensive department to run....
There's a good reason why it's expensive. It's because facts need checking, and learning materials need to have some kind of genuine and legitimate educational value. Thommo doesn't seem to agree, but then, having recently been brought (bought?) in from Channel 4, one can understand that he fails to grasp that particular nettle (or indeed concept).
Rather, he really should fire all the charming little hobbits who nest within the BBC Creative R&D department (having sneakily changed it's name from 'Imagineering' in a very Windscale/Sellafield kind of a way - what were they trying to cover up? perhaps the monumental amount of money they waste on useless projects every year? Who knows...)
How much money would that save...?

Just Fancy That! #103 - Stuart Murphy, BBC3

A Press Release from November 2002

Stuart Murphy, Controller of BBC THREE says:
“As Tessa Jowell said recently, BBC THREE needs to be all about taking risks, and Popetown is a risk which we hope the target demographic will appreciate. It fulfils BBC THREE’s commitment to originating animation, while using new and established talent in an unusual and untried environment. Having had a Catholic upbringing myself, I believe Jerry Hall will make an excellent nun, and hope Ruby Wax, being Jewish and female, may bring something to the role of The Pope which the Catholic Church may have so far overlooked.”

And, from September 23rd, 2004, from the very same Stuart Murphy, still (amazingly) Controller BBC3:

[the comic impact of Popetown did] "not outweigh the potential offence it will cause"

"There is a fine judgement line in comedy between the scurrilously funny and the offensive"

"I knew when we developed the series that there was risk involved but unfortunately, once we saw the finished series, it became clear that the programme fell on the wrong side of that line."

So, that's alright then.

"Integrity, no, you need to check in someone else's office, we're fresh out." -
Unatributed quote from BBC Television Centre, 23/09/04

How The Church Likes To Explain Itself

The great bastions (no, that is the correct spelling) of the Church have once again shown us that theirs is not a doctrine that encourages divisiveness, exclusion, and religious xenophobia.
Or, did I get that completely wrong?

When some great scion of the Church of England happily points out that Christians and Mulsims have been at each other's throats for the best part of the last 1,000 years, (and it just seemed like the blink of an eye since those wacky Crusades were going on..!) and then of course, having nothing apart from the usual 'we must place our faith in higher powers' kind of crap to follow it up with, one begins to have serious doubts about the surety of any kind of future for the God-botherers, and all us other poor devils - no pun intended - that could give a tinker's cuss.

As Iraq proved, and continues to do so.... it's all about Land & God, especially, George W., when there's Oil under the land. I'm pretty sure he thinks of that merely as a bonus.

One other question - Who are we meant to be fearing when the term 'God-Fearing' is used, Dubya's or Osama's?

I think we should be told. But I don't think we will be.

Quote Of The Day

"If it walks like a terrorist, looks like a terrorist and quacks like a terrorist, then it probably is a terrorist"

- Ehud Barak, Israeli Prime Minister
on BBC Radio 4's Today programme

Always nice to see a clear and logical process for identifying ones enemies, and their similiarities to wildfowl.
Ironic for the fact that all he needed to do is look at every other country (geographically) around him.

Fantastic

Go here.

Greg Dyke / Alistair Campbell

Always nice to see Greg Dyke, cutting into his best friend, Alistair Campbell, in such fine form on Channel 4's 'Betrayed by New Labour'.
Being slack, I managed to not see the programme when it went out, but at least had the foresight to stick in a video to tape it.
The off-shot from within ITN's Channel 4 news studio of a 'tired and emotional' Campbell was very enlightening indeed, and given the fact the he had demanded to be interviewed, and Jon Snow, the presenter, handled the quick line-up change with great aplomb, Campbell only showed himself, once again to be the overbearing, arrogant and bullying fool we all know him to be. The mere fact that Tony Bliar seemingly refused to rein him in is a strong indicator as to the complicity Bliar himself had to the lamentable performance Campbell put on.

Law & Sausages, the two things you should never see getting made, as some wise old wag once put. One could add 'Any self-serving rabid Politico Pitbull being allowed to create his own media and political agenda' should be the third item on that list.

Would you trust this man to sell your dodgy Military Intelligence to a sceptical nation?



I didn't think so.

The problem with Consoles, and other stuff, frankly

The main problem with consoles is that as soon as you get comfortable with one's PS2, Cube, or [god forbid] Xbox, something really cool and funky comes along in the form of a special edition of 'new & improved' model. Sony, bless them, have just brought out a slick 'baby' PS2, which is about 40% smaller than the original, and has a cute little foot type thingy on it as well.

I suppose this, in itself, is not actually a problem per se, more the fact that I want one and have no possible justification in buying something that is exactly the same as a piece of kit I already own, just in 'cooler' form.

Damn it! Slap it on the Credit Card, I suppose.

"Never a lender or a Prime Minister be..."

After listening to the heart-rending press conference / plea from Ken Bigley's family, it seems very hard to see how Tony Blair [Bliar] can come away from this latest tragedy with any kind of credibility if he is unable to save Mr Bigley from what seems like certain execution.
His chum Bush must be starting to get worried about the Kerry volte-face in terms of pre-election gambits. It did look for a while as though we had the 'Elephant in the Room' scenario that was going to prevail over the whole campaign, but bringing in Clinton's old team has put paid to that.
The gloves are off, or so it would seem.